ღ . Let The Dream Come True . ღ

__* 2.17 pm.`+

2011-09-07T01:52:00.004+08:00

Recently Ric msged me. Been ages since i last contacted him.. Cause i didnt wanna give him false hope, thats why i kept avoiding him in the past. I knew he was those kind of mr nice guy.. But he wasnt my type. And so since things had passed on long, i finally decided to reply his msg. As usual those old skool pick up lines like how are you and things like that.. Then he told me he could fetch me home from work everyday if i want to. Didnt want him to misunderstand, so i told him that im already married and has a baby girl now. His reply turned "cold" suddenly.. And so i asked how abt him, any gfs? He told me ever since the day he met me, he never had any gf.. And though we didnt meet alot of times, he could still rmb how i look till now. He said that after he knew me.. 2 weeks later, he started to smoke and to drink beer with a straw like i always do. But to me, he really isnt those ah beng type who smoke and drink or go clubbing and stuffs. I asked him why he become like this? He told me because i dont like good guys..

Im sorry if i'd hurt you in the past. I didnt know to appreciate you, but i believe some other girls out there definitely will.. And if that girl loves you, she wouldnt care if u dont smoke or drink or act like a gangster just to make her feel secure. Because she loves you, she will loves you for who u are and what u are. I wish you all the best..

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 4.16 pm. `+

2011-08-29T16:12:00.003+08:00

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THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 5.24 pm. `+

2011-08-25T17:23:00.002+08:00

唐禹哲 - 告诉我

一个人走一走
街灯下的路口
握不紧的双手
不知怎么形容
已被你击退的我
不知道该往哪走
想不到挽留的藉口
面对面跟我说
你已经不爱我
承诺全部没收
让我忘了所有
一个人重新来过
你怎么那么从容
怎么都等不及我回头
狠心的话全都讲完
剩下的路各走一半
也许我真的不够勇敢
毕竟相爱一场有太多片段
告诉我怎么能忘记你的笑容
告诉我怎么做才是普通朋友
假如你用心守候
不会是这个结果
你说的我都懂
我却不能够就这样放手
告诉我悲伤的时候会想起我
告诉我你舍得让我独自漂泊
有些话说不出口
害怕又犯下了错
分手还没有说泪就先流

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 10.27 pm. `+

2011-06-27T22:15:00.008+08:00

It's been decades since my last blog. Im currently having my maternity leave for 4 mths until 5th Oct before I go back to work.. Then maybe by then, I will clear all my whatever leave on hand and leave this job. Cause gotta spend more time with my baby girl.. Next month 12th July is my baby's estimated due date. Might be earlier like what everyone says from their experience.. Hope everything goes smoothly for the giving birth part. After awaiting for 9 long mths.. It's time to become someone responsible. While others at my age might still be idling or dilly-dallying their life away.. I cant. I need to work hard and save up money, plan for the future with my husband. We bidded for Punggol BTO flats, and so fortunate we actually got into the ballot for the 1st time when others bidded time after time again but to no avail. Thus, my life is now changed.. for the better in fact. Work hard, Rabbit..

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* My Wedding Day; 1803. `+

2011-03-28T17:35:00.021+08:00

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 6.00 pm. `+

2011-03-08T18:00:00.003+08:00

Today is a very lousy mood + down day. Serve what run what.. Cannot close sales. Sianz.. Sigh. No sales, only 2 sets at Amk. Very stress.. Sales not good, scold us. Sales good also never see them praising us. Amk is a ghost town. Sometimes really depend alot on Lady Luck.. Serve until very frustrated alr. Customers today are very weird.. Come in ask funny funny questions then nvr buy. Dont know what the fcuk they want sia..

Next week is my Wedding alr. Not quite happy with everything.. Too last minute and everything's so cocked up. Moreover, being sandwiched in between my parents and boyfriend is really miserable.. Got alot of problems and troubles but no one to share with. Those only know how to talk big only, but when the real day comes.. All vanish into thin air. How ironic. But life's like that.. Realistic. But luckily still got a few those are true. Well.. Maybe someday I should vanish myself into thin air too.

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 6.39 pm. `+

2011-02-07T18:32:00.003+08:00

Today is the last day Im at Vivo City! Sad and happy. Sad cause my com is gonna go right down down down to the bottom.. And happy? Cause it's near to Bf's place.. Walking distance! Woots. And Bf can save on the car petrol from fetching me back from work everyday.. Hees. And he said he also can bring Rascal boy out for a walk to fetch me.. :D

Looks like Im gonna buck up at Amk liao. Cause there, is a ghost town.. Somemore working with a junior which means Im in charge of the shop when Daniel is not around. SianZz.. Sigh- I hate SAI KANG.. Anyway, it's a big HEADACHE now.. So stress of money, money and money. Wedding is so stress.. Especially when your really broke. :( Yawns.. Today not many customers. So boring.. Luckily before go Amk start work still got 2 days off.. Hohoho.

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 7.07 pm. `+

2011-01-28T19:05:00.002+08:00

Yesterday during work, I called Bf and tell him that I long time never eat scallop siew mai alr and I have a utter urge to eat them.. But his Mummy cooked dinner alr, then ask us go back eat. So n0 choice.. As usual, Bf drove to Vivo and fetch me from work. During the journey, I grumbled that I really feel like eating scallop siew mai! Then Bf just laughed.. -.-" Tmds. But then after awhile.. He stretched his hand to the back of the car seat and took out 1 plastic bag. "Nah nah nah.. Dont say I not good.." ??? What's that... Then I looked into the plastic bag and saw 1 packet of food. Inside is scallop siew mai!!! Woots.. I was overjoyed as if strike lottery sia. So happy! Then he say now I pregnant alr, want to eat something then will keep repeat and repeat the same thing.. Very lor soh. LOL. he said that actually he was going to fall asleep on his bed alr, then when he received my phone call, he straightaway change clothes and go down geylang to buy for me. So sweet of him.. =)

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 3.45 pm.` +

2011-01-25T15:34:00.002+08:00

Every off days are full with programs.. Drinking? Nono, never in my list again till Little Liau is out.. Yesterday went to JB in the morning to eat and have petrol pumped for Bf car. Walked at the new shopping centre KSL, bought a few casual clothings for myself. Bf bought 2 bags for work purposes.. We ate 3 pieces of KFC each, somemore is thigh! But too greedy, couldnt finish the 3rd one so in the end Bf ate the rest.. Though we often quarrel on and off, on and off but he actually still cares alot. From the way he peels the chicken for me when it was still piping hot.. makes me touched in the inside. We went shopping, spent about $100 singapore dollars.. At first is lend from Bf but in the end he also offered to help me pay all.. So nice of him. Haas! After that we went back Singapore Bukit Batok to get our ready made Wedding invitation cards; 290 pieces. Then we headed back home.. Bf cooked hotdogs for me cause I complained hungry. Then after that we took a little nap until night time and went down to Bugis to do some shoppings for New Year clothes together with his sister.. This time, I spent $80 overall. So happy shopping and walking around.. But Bf sis didnt managed to buy any. So tired.. Wish off days were longer. This coming Friday, Bf going to JB to get our Wedding photos and gonna hang on the room walls.. Hees! Wonder how the big pictures outcome will turn out to be? So excited! ^^ This year is the last year that I can get Ang Baos alr.. Lols. Must cherish.. :D

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 9.38 pm. `+

2011-01-17T20:59:00.002+08:00

Last week was my birthday. Had the most surprising birthday gift from Bf.. On that day, after I'd finished work. He brought me to Pasir Ris where last time Fisherman Village was located at but was now renamed as some other places, for a dinner. The lamb steak there was totally fantastic! After that Bf suddenly told me that we'll be going down to his god-sister's chalet for a while, cause he said his god-sister is down there alone.. So upon reaching, the chalet door was slightly opened. And I guessed it was probably for our arrival.. So when we walked into the room, there was a two rows of lighted candles lying on the floor side by side along the corridor. & it's really beautiful.. Suddenly my friends popped out, singing Birthday song for me. On the bed was lighted candles forming a heart shape and in the middle is a birthday cake, at the side is a bouquet of blue roses which I previously mentioned to Bf that I liked blue roses.. I was really touched. A few of his friends and his sister were there too. Tears nearly fell.. It was really sweet of him to have plan all those for me. Because previously we actually wanted to plan to book chalet for both our birthdays, but cause I couldnt get off on his birthday which was on the 6th. So I only managed to take off on mine own which is on the 8th. Moreover, Bf told me that he did not have sufficient money to organise a chalet as we had our weddings money to be stressed over alrdy.. And it was too rush to be able to find any available chalets in such a short while. Thus I didnt thought much abt it either.. Cause I only hope our wedding to go through smoothly. Also, we actually had a big tiff on his birthday.. which I was kinda ridiculous cause it was actually my fault then I ran back Seng Kang home. Yet he has to drive down to fetch me back, and ended up didnt really have a chance to celebrate his birthday.. So conclusion? I love him.. Because he loves me so. Thank you for tolerating all my shits especially when Im having Little Liau now and it's often temperamental.

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 11.32 am. `+

2011-01-03T11:30:00.005+08:00

While he left you stranded alone left to die,
there's another somewhere waiting to adore you.
Never give up on yourself..
Never think it's the end of the world yet.

Be thankful for those who left,
they are the ones who make you strong.

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 10.42 am. `+

2011-01-02T10:42:00.004+08:00

Dar bought me a Olympus digital camera for my birthday present.
Hees..
1st gift I'd got from him.
Very happy cause he remembered I wanted pink!
Wonder how our wedding photo shoots look like,
cant wait for 8th jan.

Today Dar off day,
but he woke up earlier than me as usual to bathe
then go downstairs buy Mee Siam for my breakfast..
After that send me to work.
Sending me to work if possible,
and fetching me from work is his daily routine.
I know he will make a good father..
:D

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 12.13 pm. `+

2010-12-31T11:58:00.005+08:00

The result is normal.
Little Liau is fine,
after spending $400+ on the ultra sound scan.
Phew..
Everything that we are spending now,
is either hundreds or thousands.
No more 10 or 20 dollars like small kids..
Now then I realised it aint easy to get married.
Really need lots of money.
Savings is really important..
That is why Im still working,
till I could get my maternity leave then I can shake leg at home
and still get paid.

Hees..
Till now,
I'd been in this job for nearly 2 years in this coming March 2011.
Will request for a transfer out to AMK
so my work load wont be that heavy.
Though commission will definitely goes down..
But no choice lah.
Wondering if Little Liau is a boy or a girl.
I will wish for a boy because if the 1st one is a boy,
then the following others wont be so stress abt the gender liao.
Kinda old skool uhs?
:D

I know he is the guy who will take care of me for the rest of my life.
He may not be as good looking or rich like others,
but what I need is just someone who is reliable and loves me for who I am.

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 11.03 am. `+

2010-12-26T11:01:00.003+08:00

Tomorrow going check if little Liau is healthy or not.
Hope little Liau is growing well..
Must be good ok.
Mummy & Daddy loves you.
x33

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 4.18 pm. `+

2010-11-09T16:18:00.002+08:00

It happens to be like we met through my sister, and 3 loners or rather broken hearts gather together and pour our hearts out while drinking. At that time, his relationship with his girl was on rocky terms.. And had been dragging on for months. That's when my sister asked him out and we appeared in his life.. Was also when I was broken hearted not long ago. At first we came together and his girl thought that I was the third party in his relationship.. But really, I wasnt. I even persuaded him to go back to her side and try to work things out.. But of course, things aint easy said than done. The funniest part is, we're together yes. But we dont even know what is it that attracts the both of us together or whether is there really chemistry or not.. How ironic?

But anyway, the main point is.. He dotes and pampers me very much.. And Im indeed thankful having found him, after much disappointment from the previous ones.

- When i said im hungry, he'll definitely find food for me. he'll lied saying he has things to do, then he will sneak away to buy me food.

- I always want to eat seafood like stingray kinda stuffs, though he will always kpkb but in the end he also will buy for me eat cause he knows i like.

- If i say i want to sing kbox, he will jio his sister or my friends out.

- If it's within his limitations, he will definitely do it for me. Say, he drove us to KL despite having to drive for hours all the way from sg and he actually dont intend to go due to financial difficulties but he went cause it was my first overseas outing with my bf.

- He cooks for me to eat, my favourite soft boiled eggs. Eats the not-very-cooked one himself.. And boils brand new ones for me again.

- Nagging me not to drink so much, always caring asking if i'd taken my meals, remind me to drink more water.. Will bring me to eat every day after work or we will packet back home.

- Wake up early in the morning to make breakfast with heart-shaped breads for me to bring to work and eat.

- Wash my clothes for me cause im lazy..

- Never fails to fetch me home from work rain or shine. If he's off on that day im working, then he'll crawl up on the same time in the morning as me, to send me to work.

- Kills a cockroach with his bare hands, cause he knows im scared. But the previous day, he just said that cockroaches are dirty.. And he wouldnt wanna touch them.

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 12.06 pm. `+

2010-10-14T12:06:00.003+08:00

upset .
i didnt expect things to turn out this way ..
sighs ..
feels like crying .

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 2.07 pm.`+

2010-10-01T13:53:00.004+08:00

happy , drink .

sad , drink .

sick , drink .

nothing to do , drink .

after work , drink .

everyday , drink ..

without drinking ,

i dont know what else i can still do .

so my life now is just evolving around drinking .

beer and liquors .

i'd learnt that ,

love isnt everything .

money , friends , family ..

these are the things that are more realistic .

thank you Crystal for being there with me ..

even though u'd have to wake up so early for work next day ,

u'd still accompany me .

and bringing friends for me to know ..

at least i dont feel so alone now .

sorry for causing you to take MC due to lack of sleep .

am glad that i'd no burdens now .

sick and tired of r/s

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

2010-09-27T01:55:00.001+08:00

These days been drinking non-stop.. Even if Im very shag, I would wanna go drink. That day went drinking till 4 am then next day late for half an hour.. Luckily got Ben help me cover. Tmr gotta reach office at 9 am, actually intend to sleep early.. Cause just now purposely nvr go drink then thought will be tired wanna rest at home. Then expected, cannot sleep.. Sianz.

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

2010-09-20T04:08:00.009+08:00

在我以为我们刚会有结果时。。从你朋友口中,我无意间发现原来我才是你们的第三者。你对我说你们已经分手了。。我竟然还以为是真的。我任然的相信你。在你选折她与我之间,你放弃了我。。我原本可以渐渐复原,但你却一次又一次的欺骗我。。其实我可以很自私的破坏你们的感情,但我并没有这样做。因为当时的我,因为她,真的好难受。。所以我可以体会,当心爱的人竟被另一个女孩横刀夺爱的时候。。是多么的无可奈何时。。我竟然心软了。我退出了。看见你原有的那些关怀与备质。。原属于我的一切。。却都是她的。。心中就难免有不少的曲折。我并没有怪你。。我只能不停地折备自己没有用,没办法挽留你的心。。所以她才会有机可趁。我因为你的母亲不喜欢我成天游手好闲,而去找份正荡的职业。。而因此没法抽空来陪你,所以我们才因此疏远。你不断的提醒我叫我等着你,但你又到底为我付出了多少?一点都没有。自私的使终是你。你叫我等你,而你却骗了我。。还暗地里跟她在一起。我想请问。。这些日子,我在你心里到底算些什么?既然不想在一起,何必一直玩弄我的感情。。我真的好失望。

虽然事情已过了许久,但希望你能真心的对待她。不要再辜负她了。。虎。

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 11.33 pm.`+

2010-09-13T23:25:00.005+08:00

那些女孩教我的事

要不是你让想念猖狂打破天窗
我不会发现枕头上的荒凉
以为你就是故乡
却变成我的流浪
谁的傍晚是谁的天亮

十九八七六十六亿人同时狂欢
五四三二一个人倒数孤单
回忆的拥挤广场
假装你还在身旁
就像你最爱依赖我的肩膀

第一行诗的狂妄
第一首歌的难忘
第一次吻你的唇
你的倔强
第一颗流星灿烂
第一个天真愿望
第一个诺言美丽的荒唐

你叫我爱的善良
你教我恨的野蛮
你教我忘记该忘
伤心太伤
那些你教我的事
让思念更苦更长
只想问
想念的想念的想念的你
怎么样

爱情是信仰
或只能是旅途风光
那女孩带我漫游一次天堂
你教我怎么爱上
却没教怎么遗忘
让我的阳光都变成了泪光

第一行诗的狂妄
第一首歌的难忘
第一次吻你的唇
你的倔强
第一颗流星灿烂
第一个天真愿望
第一个诺言美丽的荒唐

你教我爱的善良
你教我恨的野蛮
你教我忘记该忘
伤心太伤
那些你教我的事
让思念更苦更长
只想问
想念的想念的想念的你
怎么样

第一行诗的狂妄
第一首歌的难忘
第一次吻你的唇
你的倔强
第一颗流星灿烂
第一个天真愿望
第一个诺言美丽的荒唐

你教我爱的善良
你教我恨的野蛮
你教我忘记该忘
伤心太伤
那些你教我的事
让思念更苦更长
只想问
想念的想念的想念的你
怎么样

那些你教我的事
让思念更苦更长
只想问
想念的想念的想念的你
怎么样

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 4.43 am. `+

2010-09-07T04:41:00.003+08:00

It'd been long since my tears fall ..

And I promised this will be the last.

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 2.04 am. `+

2010-09-04T01:36:00.007+08:00

Had been drinking these days.. Now kinda into Baron, as we have a Baron Family. & Im considered fortunate to be able to mingle with my seniors and managers.. We had our drinking sessions once in a while when either one of us felt like drinking. Though not all the time all of us could turn up, but it's understandable lahs. Next month going Bintan with June & Crystal. And Crystal had alrdy help me taken approval from the Baron King, my manager. Cant wait for our mini get-away trip.. Ytd Crystal and I went to Punggol Marina for our drinking sessions. Was supposed to leave at 1 but ended up leaving at around 3 instead.. Damn shag. Was quite enjoyable as I got to sing quite a lot of songs. Tmr will be another drinking day I guess.. Cause Jalan Besar there still got balance. And Im proud of myself no matter how drunk I may be, tmr sure turn up for work. For this 1st half of the year, I had not taken any MC yet.. & Im still aiming for this goal to be ZERO MC. Then got bonus to take also.

Recently working at AMK. Friends at Bedok really miss me sial.. All ask why Im not at Bedok alr. Haas. Anyway, good news is I'd had my wish granted. I wont be staying at Bedok for long.. Cause it had really been long enough. I would be post out to bigger outlets. But, the bad news is the reshufflement is postponed.. Haas. But I should really thank my managers for helping me out, if not I dont even know if I would ever be spotted being stucked at Bedok for so long alr..

Now then I realised that money is really important. Without money, you're just nothing in this realistic world. In the past, money had never been of any concern or issue to me.. Thats because Im spending every cent earned or even more. But as you start to grow older, you would know that though money is not everything but you could never live without it. No savings = 慢僈等死。

Sad to realise.. Im still lingering in the past and all those flashbacks are tearing me apart. It took me like, 3 years and it's still unforgettable. Like what they say, falling in love is easy but moving on is hard.. Even a few months of memories takes like a decade of my life.

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 3.35 am.'+

2010-08-19T03:26:00.006+08:00

Tmr last day of Roadshow..
Been a busy week at work.
After this final relief of roadshow, gotta be in charge of the shop..
I hate things the way they arranged it.
Why did they have to put me tgt with a new girl?
Fuck. Total retard..
Why cant they put some experienced senior with me..
Chao turban.
Arghs..
Havent i got enough things to stress abt??

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

2010-04-14T01:55:00.001+08:00

Sleepless nights ..

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

2010-03-03T11:45:00.002+08:00

他的手掌有种粗造的体贴

他在我需要时候出现身边

被你伤的那些崩溃眼泪

多亏他无私的奉陪

那天要是和你真的再见面

谁都不要再提醒那一段从前

有些事不面对反而安心安全

你无权再动摇我的世界

现在我有了幸福有人照顾应该知足

你不像他从不让我哭

可是我越想投入越是生疏抱的再紧

依旧止不住那流失的温度

现在我不停忙碌不断让步想看清楚

你不像他把我当成全部

可是爱有时善良有时残酷我要如何

爱他像爱你那样义无返顾

那天要是和你真的再见面

我不会提到最后和他的一切

面对不爱的人我终于谅解了

曾经欲用无言划的句点

现在我有了幸福有人照顾应该知足

你不像他从不让我哭

可是我越想投入越是生疏抱的再紧

依旧止不住那流失的温度

现在我不停忙碌不断让步想看清楚

你不像他把我当成全部

可是爱有时善良有时残酷我要如何

爱他像爱你那样义无返顾

现在我有了幸福有人照顾应该知足

你不像他从不让我哭

可是我越想投入越是生疏抱的再紧

依旧止不住那流失的温度

现在我不停忙碌不断让步想看清楚

你不像他把我当成全部

可是爱有时善良有时残酷我要如何

爱他像爱你那样义无返顾

现在我不停忙碌不断让步想看清楚

你不像他把我当成全部

可是爱有时善良有时残酷我要如何

爱他像爱你那样义无返顾

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 1.39 am .`+

2010-01-31T01:11:00.007+08:00

was late an hour for work . woke up at 11.30 am , realised that handphone batt is dead . no wonder no alarm .. drank at punggol end , slept at 5+ am . reached workplace at 12 plus , but luckily was being saved again by my manager .

bibi in camp now , friday then can come out .. but he promise to come out earlier to accompany me on thurs . although sometimes we will have some minor arguements .. but luckily he also will give in to me , that day when he didnt wanna go have dinner tgt with mummy .. in the end , i 哄 him until he bui tahan and he finally agreed . haas . sometimes he acts like a small boy , sometimes he's very stern .. but always being bullied by me . his silly face always nvr fail to make me laugh . his stupid expression when peeling chicken wings for me , is damn funny . love him lots ! wish to smile and play like crazy with him by my side .

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 11.30 pm .`+

2010-01-14T23:21:00.003+08:00

I should be happy that there are people who cares . There is my Bestie there for me beside me when I cried my heart out .. There is Joyce who can accompany me for drinks . There is Benvis who calls me every morning to wake up for work . There is Jaden to bring me out for supper or outings . There is Lawrence to message with during work .. I should be happy . I should also be happy for you .. But unfortunately , Im not . I dont feel anything within me . I cant seem to find any happiness in anything I do .. When I know u'd found someone new , I wasnt supposed to feel anything . But instead , I felt pain in everything ..

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 3.31 am .`+

2010-01-14T03:18:00.002+08:00

无数个夜晚

任性的被你宠坏

我曾想就这样耍赖

如今默默呼吸孤单

失去了什么

还剩下什么

不再等待

面对你慷慨无截止的爱

我该不该勇敢的离开

对自己坦白

爱狠狠的还在

找朋友陪伴都抵不过你一半

泪在眼里打转爱已变成黑白

找不到答案也不想谎言主宰

对彼此坦白我们真的失败
背叛不是因为就算承诺不再

新欢成了旧爱

爱的没了姿态我会释怀

让时间把一切都冲淡

失去了什么

还剩下什么

不再等待

面对你慷慨无截止的爱

我该不该勇敢的离开

对自己坦白爱狠狠的还在

找朋友陪伴都抵不过你一半

泪在眼里打转

爱已变成黑白

找不到答案也不想谎言主宰

对彼此坦白我们真的失败

背叛不是因为就算承诺不再

新欢成了旧爱

爱的没了姿态

我会释怀

让时间把一切都冲淡

就让它冲淡

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 12.16 am .`+

2010-01-12T00:03:00.006+08:00

dont know how long i'd remain single . but the truth is i'd been single for nearly 2 month .. i shouldnt be thinking of anything else ler . should just work and work and work . play and play and play .. or drink and drank and drunk .. just that , i feel lonely on my off days even with the accompany of friends . and .. at times , im still struggling to move on . and sometimes i long for someone to love me . but also at the same time , i dont wish to be with someone new and end up thinking abt the past and going back to square one .. im really tired . every night sleeping past 4 am , waking up at 9 or 10 am . always late for work .. so shag with panda eyes .. not much energy to work or always very blur like sotong cause not enough sleep . even reach home very tired , but still no mood to sleep .. even lie on bed also will toss and turn till morning . repeated routine each day .. so tiring .. dont know what to do .. cigarettes are running out so fast that i have to buy almost everyday . stress also need so much money ..

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 6.45 pm .`+

2010-01-08T18:37:00.002+08:00

Thanks people for coming down my birthday celebration .

Jolyn , Joyce , Jaden , Jane , Alvin , Ah Di , Benvis , Andy , Benjamin , Ah De & co.

Though this year Im alone ,

but at least I got you guys's accompany ..

Thanks alot !

& thanks for the presents also .

Sorry Bestie for letting you see me in my break down state .

Yesterday will be the last day I shed tears for him ..

Thanks for taking care of me .

Love you .

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 1.10 am .`+

2010-01-06T01:07:00.005+08:00

Last day of 2009 .

Jane . Rabbit . Jolyn

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 2.56 am .`+

2010-01-05T02:51:00.005+08:00

very , very tired .

but those tears just keep falling ..

say to forget ,

but it's still hard .

3 more days to my birthday ..

but I feel so blank and empty .

dont have the mood at all ..

WISH YOU HAPPINESS ♥

__* 1.44 pm .`+

2009-12-30T13:34:00.003+08:00

I dreamt of us ..

You came over my place ,

suddenly my Dad came back .

Everyone was at home .

Dad was angry ..

He asked whether you can give me happiness ,

but you couldnt answer him .

I cried and shouted that your just my friend ..

Afterwhich I ran away .

When I woke up ,

there was a line of tears falling down my cheeks ..

WISH YOU HAPPINESS ♥

__* 2.56 am .`+

2009-12-30T02:49:00.005+08:00

No matter what ,

just promise u'll be happy .

Because you chose to leave ,

you have to prove that ur happier with her now ..

Or I wont forgive you .

After holding on for so long ..

it's finally time to end .

Love is ,

just a heartbreak game for two .

WISH YOU HAPPINESS ♥

__* 12.32 am .`+

2009-12-22T00:28:00.003+08:00

The entire world is asking me to give up ..

to let go of you .

sighs -

i will ..

but i just need more time ..

to adapt ..

still ,

living without you ..

when the time is ripe ,

i will let go of everything ..

but for now ..

just let me be .

happy birthday pang yong kuan .

. W E H T T A M ♥

__* 11.24 pm .`+

2009-12-20T23:14:00.007+08:00

2 more days and it's his birthday.. but im not the one to be beside him to celebrate with him. when we were together, i thought we could last till his birthday.. and at least, also mine. haas. they asked, is it worth doing so much for him? i said i dont know. they asked, if one day i see him on the streets with someone new, how would i feel? will i cry? i replied them, yes i will cry. but it will give me the courage to give him up once and for all.. at least, will make me real hurt to stop loving him. though those things he said in the past is alr hurt enough.. but i guess 人是范溅的。only until i witness with my own eyes, then i will start believing that he has someone new. they said, you treat him good but you also dont know if he's attached now or if he's flirting or whatsoever.. yes. i will know nothing at all, if he choose not to tell. but as long as he choose to lie, i will continue believing in his lies.. dont ask me why. i dont know either, perhaps that's what the true meaning of "Love" is.. or let's just say im stupid.

"i just feel that though we had alr broke up for quite some while, and even after break up we could quarrel or be upset over certain issues ending up say that we will never contact each other anymore or whatever.. but in the end, either one of us will always contact each other after some time, and i will never fail to break my promise to myself that i will not think of you anymore. each time you call or msg, i wish i had more courage to move on and ignore.. but i just cant do it.. maybe it's because of boredom or loneliness that ur looking me up, or some other reasons which i may not know.. but seriously, i had always love you with each beat of my heart and that is something which nobody could ever replace since day one. if u think i aint real, try touching ur heart and maybe u'll see.."

. W E H T T A M ♥

__* 12.09 am .`+

2009-12-16T23:58:00.004+08:00

It's hard not to feel a thing ..

but guess everything's predestined .

maybe after this ..

everything will comes to an end .

memories will be what's left .
goodbye ..

. W E H T T A M ♥

__* 1.20 am .`+

2009-12-14T01:06:00.005+08:00

Yesterday went back home straight after work. Dont know why, really no mood to drink.. 3 groups of friends jio go drink, got pub, got club, got go disco. But surprisingly, one I also never go. Beginning to wonder what's happening to me.. Really wish to go back to the past. Even cannot go out with friends also nevermind.. Just staying next to him is all that matters. But guess everything's too late now.. Im sorry for ruining everything and destroying everything good. Its's been months and Im still feeling the same.. I really miss him alot alot.. Im really sorry.. I thought I could move on but I was wrong.. I can never find another who could replace his position in my heart.. In the end, everything's back to square one.

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 12.04 am .`+

2009-12-10T23:53:00.003+08:00

I did it on purpose because Im left with no choice.

I dont wish to hinder anyone's life..

Even though you should have the right to know certain things,

but I wont be telling.

Because I know this is what you always wanted..

Happy and carefree all these months,

without me.

You should had alr adapt to ur current life..

Im not selfish.

I will let you go,

& this is my greatest decision made.

Though ur still the one that matters..

But well,

goodbye.

After I end everything once and for all,

you wont be able to find me anymore..

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 11.42 pm .`+

2009-12-06T23:35:00.004+08:00

the stupid doll that came into the shop and return back HQ .

arghs !

vexed .

moody ..

lousy mood .

want to buy alot things ,

but i rmb my lesson ..

i rmb last time someone keep scolding me for spending .

there are so many things in my mind ,

that i dont know what im thinking also .
my manager ask me to be more cheerful ..

but i also not sure what im gloomy about ?

hais .

feels like i'd lost everything ..

with no place to belong .

no one to call my own .

what on earth is happening ..

always feeling so tired & down ..

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 4.06 pm .`+

2009-12-01T16:05:00.002+08:00

so bored at work ..

has been sitting in front of the com playing facebook and surfing net .

fcuking boring sio ..

ahhh !!!

feels like sleeping only .

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 1.55 am .`+

2009-11-26T01:28:00.008+08:00

Just realised these photos were taken on our Samsung Event using my phone, on the day I was damn drunk and also surprisingly won myself a F480 in a lucky draw while I was in the toilet with my Managers. Lol ! Damn funny.. My guy colleagues even rushed into the toilet to look for me shouting, "Angela faster come out, you got phone to take!" and I was like.. "Uhh? What the fuck." That day all of us kept drinking cause free flow only!

June (Vivo Manager) . Jason (my Senior)

Dunno the guy on the left is who.. But on the right is our Boss.

Black shirt is Zhi Jian, my ex colleague.

White shirt is Rui Bin, the one who help me get this job.

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 2.12 am .`+

2009-11-17T01:49:00.006+08:00

It's been a while since we last met. I tried so hard to keep myself busy and occupied.. Recently met lots of setbacks at work, feeling very stress. In the past, I'd always have you by my side to sulk my problems about work.. Right now, Im all alone. Though I'd stopped mentioning abt our stuffs to anyone.. But it's still hard. That day when went to Serangoon to eat with colleagues.. We walked past Sushi Tei. I smiled and told Jason, this was the place you and me went to eat on our 3rd mth anniversary.. He told me to cheer up. Later on, after finish eating we walked across the road and I saw the place you took me with you to meet ur friends for the 1st time, on their birthday. The place where we ate ice cream and took pictures with them.. I just stood there like an idiot and stare into the blank.. Until Jason asked me to go. There's many things which reminds me of you.. I just dont know how to put it in words how much Im still thinking of you, and missing those memorable days together. I really hate myself for being so useless.. Unable to move on, even though it's been quite some while already. I always try my very best to hang a smile on my face, but friends they never fail to see through my sadness.. Even if it's a friend just known, they would ask why do I look so upset? I dont know how on earth they would even know when Im always carrying a smile on my face.. Im just so tired..

Remember in the past you told me my blog is all written about my ex when Im with you? If you scroll back and see, you'd realise now my entire blog is all about you.. What are you doing now? How have you been.. All these, I no longer have the right to ask.

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

2009-11-13T23:35:00.002+08:00

Just came back home, went to eat after work with colleagues.. Jason, Nokia promoter Matthew & his Gf at Bedok 85. Yesterday we all also same people go Serangoon Chomp Chomp eat seafood.. Today got 4 groups of people jio go drink.. HuiLin jio St James, Deron Bro jio Atlantis, Jaden jio pub, Black jio chalet. All rejected, cause tmr gotta wake up early go work.. 1 more MC and i'm outta this job. Today forgot to go Iphone training, Render was very frustrated.. Cause I said cause nobody reminded me. Last time too used to having people remind me the day before my training.. Sorry I know is my fault. After Boss come back and knows of this, maybe my position is very shaky liao.. Sighs. But no choice la, if want to sack me i also suck thumb. Hope things will go smoothly for me..

Went to drink on my off day despite having a fever, tell my friends that Im sick but they dont believe. Lols! So nevermind lor, keep tah with them.. In the end, still standing strong. Went back home got a fever of 39 degree.. Die die tell myself cannot take anymore MC. Bathe alr went to sleep.. Woke up at 6am for no good reasons, measure my temperature and it was slightly better. 38.5 degree this time.. Then covered myself till sweat, luckily the next morning okay liao. Now everyday taking cab to work, damn expensive.. This month gave Daddy $200 extra for his birthday present. So fucking broke.. Tmr going Xiao Yong's birthday chalet after work. Tonight gotta turn in early if not tmr cannot wake up again.. Luckily today is my Ah Ma & Ah Gong suddenly come my house and wake me up, arbo I think 11 o'clock still sleeping sio. Lols! Alright, so this is my boring Saturday night at home.. But also bo bian, going bathe now and sleep ler. Sorry for not joining you all, dont worry sure got chance de.. I will request to change back my off day to Thurs cause Wed is Ladies Night, dont worry Sisters.. I will join you all real soon. =]

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 2.54 pm .`+

2009-11-11T14:45:00.006+08:00

keeping myself occupied. dont wish to think of anyone or anything else.. stress at work, stress in basically everything. next month gotta bear a $500 for my blurnt mistake in applications.. haiis. i stress or upset, got tell anyone mah? no i didnt. i should be able to go through all these shits and miseries alone.. later going com centre with second brother, take mio tv remote control cause ours spoilt liao. then after that meeting deron rubber for dinner.. at night maybe going drink i dont know. Benvis send me a voice clip he sung in msn, 2 tigers run very fast.. lols. so lame. dont wish to stay at home on my off day..

any idea to make all these sadness go away .. ?

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 1.40 am .`+

2009-11-10T01:28:00.002+08:00

The day before he called in the middle of the night .. I went home alone as usual after work . In the bus , listening to the songs in my hp .. Then memories rushed back . & tears rolled down profusely .. I thought everything is all over and done with . I thought I had already left everything behind .. I simply stopped talking about him , stopped mentioning his name and anything that concerns . Realised I'd been pushing myself too hard to move on .. So hard that Im deceiving myself and everyone else . I could have a smile hanging 24/7 on my face , pretend I aint feel nothing .. But at the end of the day , an empty shell is what's left of me .

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 2.29 am .`_

2009-11-06T02:13:00.011+08:00

Cam-whoring

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 2.08 am .`+

2009-11-03T01:49:00.006+08:00

though they had parted ,but somehow ..both their hearts still yearn for each other .
though the pain is lessen and wounds are healing as time goes by ..the girl will still think of the boy ,& bury him deep down in her heart .no matter what ..she promise to stay happy always .
memories ,wont be forgotten .but only remain intact ..and unspoken .

take care .

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 2.40 am .`+

2009-10-27T02:33:00.006+08:00

hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts. hurts.

不是大哭一场之后，就会好一点吗？为什么好像都没有用。。

why am i still feeling the same ..

sighs ... ...

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 12.09 am .`+

2009-10-26T00:06:00.004+08:00

Yesterday I went into the lift and pressed 6th floor ..

I still cant figure out the reason why .

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 1.03 am .`+

2009-10-24T00:50:00.002+08:00

I dont know if ur still viewing my blog ..

But ..

You're really cold-blooded .

I should hate you ..

But I cant bring myself to .

I know I aint good enough for you ,

but you really dont have to do until so ugly .

Why am I the one to deserve all these treatments ,

when I was the one to make you stay and not those who had left you ?

Im really ..

really ,

very hurt .

I dont understand how you could move on so fast without a tinge of pain ..

when our relationship had just ended not long .

sighs ..

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 11.24 pm .`+

2009-10-17T23:08:00.003+08:00

Im a little confused. Would someone actually remember those past habits we had always done together before and his promise made 2 years ago? Though I dont know whether he really did it because of me, or is it just another excuse to stir up my feelings.. My weakness is too blind in love, and soft-hearted. Im really sick and tired of believing lies time after time again, when I'd put 101% trust in that someone. I really dont know what to believe in anymore. If it's really for me, why wait until 2 years later when my heart has died then tell me all this and that? Why even in the first place left me for her.. I really dont understand? Sigh.

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 2.24 pm .`+

2009-10-15T14:08:00.010+08:00

thanks for always bringing me out, always lending a listening ear. you know i'd be bored, u know i dont wish to stay at home.. because we both are in the same plight. i know ur feeling worse and your even more upset than me, but do cheer up. cause we have to understand that the world doesnt stop spinning because of anyone's loss.. i appreciate you bringing me out even though the next morning u still gotta report for ur 1st day of work. ur right, everyone is blind in love.. got to step outta the picture then things will be much clearer. now that i can see the full picture, i realised everything is plainly a one-sided love.. though it still hurts every now and then.. i think i will slowly let go. time will heals all wounds.. i dont know how long it will takes this time.. but by then, i will change away my hp wallpaper. because it hurts alot when my customers see my hp wallpaper and said that im very blissful with my bf.. well.. i will let go, someday eventually..

ytd was supposed to be our 6th mth..

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 7.53 pm .`+

2009-10-08T19:29:00.006+08:00

It's hurting, but still someday I'd have to do it.. Maybe letting go now is the best way out for the both of us. Actually.. I only wanted to make him stay. But dont know what I'd said, made him have the wrong idea and wanna give up on us.. Maybe I'd said it in the wrong manner or something.. Well. Im such a retard and screwed up person, always messing things up. In the beginning only wanted to tell him how I feel.. Only wish he could at least change and dote me a little more. I had never expect anything more.. Maybe all along I'd been a burden to him, always causing so much unhappiness. He asked, "Why still wanna look him up, since things are the way it is now?" Cause.. there will also be times that I'd miss him like crazy and want him by my side. There will be times, I would change back into a small girl and cry my heart out.. If I dont care, I would have walked away.. But I never did, though I always say only. I was hoping he will say something like he will treat me better or stuffs like that.. But he never did. Until the end.. He still, never did. I was utterly upset and disappointed when he asked me to find someone better instead.. Really, no words could describe how I feel.

If I wanna find someone better, you think Im not capable to? But I seek for feelings more than anything else.. You really think Im such a materialistic person? Or can just anyhow pull someone out there to be my guy and claimed that I love him when I dont, just to put up a show in front of everyone else that Im better off without you? Maybe you still dont understand why I had given up someone to be with you months ago. Maybe you dont understand why Im remaining single all these while. Maybe you dont know me.. Or rather, you had never made efforts to understand me at all. I should be happy that now finally I can let you go, after hearing such words coming out from you.. I should be relieved. But unfortunately, Im not. I should be hating you, but no.. Im feeling more hurt than hatred..

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 7.10 pm .`+

2009-10-08T19:01:00.004+08:00

那天我扬起帆

想看看未知的海

心里很多话想说说不出来

虽然我脸上看不出来

天空一样蔚蓝　却换了多少云彩

那时的你让我幸福百分百

是否为我等待

我知道我的爱一直都会存在

没有你泪停不下来

你知道我依赖多不想say goodbye

我痛说不出来

我知道我的爱一直都会存在

没有你快乐都停摆

某一天我期待和你笑的灿烂

回头看爱　都在

站在你的门外　我却幸福在徘徊

心里很多话想说说不出来

但我想你一定都明白

时间过的好快

想念却不曾更改

现在的你是否幸福百分百

我应该怎么猜

爱一直存在

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 3.32 am .`+

2009-10-06T03:30:00.006+08:00

so much .. for an empty shell . despite all those discriminations .. i protect you from everything and everyone else . yet all i get back .. was an empty shell . a relationship .. which cannot withstand difficulties .. is not what i want or expect ... i could bear all hardships to be with you .. yet all you could answer .. was so irresponsible . im so disappointed .. for all those things i'd done and wanna do for you .. im simply ruined . i had never blamed you for anything .. all i wish for , is for you to at least answer to my call whenever i need you . but have you ? i'd always thought , being there for you was at least what i could do . but maybe .. i was .. wrong ...................... i thought u were the one i wanna settle down with . yet u let me down time and time again .. what have i exactly done wrong to deserve all those treatment from you .. i really dont understand .. why are those tears even falling ?

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 11.40 pm .`+

2009-10-01T23:23:00.003+08:00

Sick. Sneeze, Cough, Sore Throat, Fever.. Tomorrow.. MC! Haas. Should be bah? Very uncomfortable la. Nose damn itchy and irritating.. Sneeze each time I open my mouth to talk with customers. Anyway, Render was sweet. Today is her off day, she went to town with her Bf and go find the mascara that I wanted.. Didnt thought she really go search for it. Though dont have, but still Im very touched.. Where to find such a thoughtful manager sial. Sounds like a good friend rather. Hmm, hope tmr still sick then I no need go work liao.. Hoho. Hmm, from today onwards I'll be jotting down every cents I spent. Cannot everytime spend until no money, then by end of the month always so broke and pathetic! Gotta remind myself to save up liao.. Dont wish to let him look down on me, always say Im not thinking. Must try to change away all my bad habits.. 我会加油的。你也会为我加油打气吧？=]

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 1.24 am .`+

2009-09-30T00:48:00.014+08:00

It's still very hard to coop with my current life, everything seems so empty without him by my side. I thought I was strong enough to handle things on my own, I thought that I could be those type of say let go jiu let go person. But I dont know why.. Everywhere I go, I wish he was there with me. Every couple I see, I will miss him instead of like the past I will find some guys out there to be attached with, hoping they can give me happiness. Every Omnia phone I see, makes me feel like killing myself. Every road I see, makes me think of flashing images of me on his bike. Every passing motorbikes, makes me wanna turn back and see if it's him.. Each time I walked pass my block downstairs, are scattered memories of us sitting there chatting or his bike parking there, with him sitting down by the pavement playing car racing game on his phone while waiting for me.

Reached home just now, lied on my bed. Suddenly he came to mind.. & I changed back my hp wallpaper to our past picture. Tears rolled down.. I went to bathe. While bathing, I looked at the surrounding and it's really very spacious and weird. Reminds me of the past when the both of us were squeezing in a small bathroom together, I will scrub his back, help him wash hair, squeeze toothpaste for him after I finish brushing my teeth. Almost everything, he would be there by my side.. Even moving around the house, I will hold his hands and walked behind him. I remember he always like to shout "Bi" very loudly, no matter is regarding important or silly stuffs. Especially when Im doing my own things or watching cartoon, once he's hungry or thirsty sure will shout for me.. And he always behave like a small boy, asking for hugs with both his arms wide open. During night time, he will snuggle onto the bed next beside me and dug himself into my arms cuddling me tightly.. There was once, when I hugged him to sleep and the next morning I woke up seeing him drool on me.

Anyway, after I finish bathing. I saw a Sms and missed call from him.. And it's the "dont know how many times" that coincidently when I miss him terribly and surprisingly he will message or call me on that day. Sigh.. Simply miss everything, yet feeling so helpless and handicapped.

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 1.35 pm .`+

2009-09-29T13:01:00.003+08:00

Someone asked ,

what makes me stays on for him ?

Well ..

Maybe simply because .

To me ..

Love is despite how bad that person had treated you ,

you would still love and wanna care for him as much .

And nobody can take this feeling away ,

no matter how others made him out to be .

dont know why

他们说 , 很难猜透我的心到底在想些什么 ..

and Im a very "Hard to understand" person .

Actually ..

Im just like any other girls out there ,

Sad then cry .

angry then throw temper ..

Not good at words ,

always say the wrong things make people even frustrated .

A easily contented person .

As long as the one I love ,

loves me .

& that's already enough ..

I dont give a damn if he's rich or not ,

or if he's capable of providing expenses for me .

Because Im willing to go through poverty together with him .

That's also the reason why my Dad always say Im blind ..

Laughs .

Ohh ya ,

before I forget ..

Hope that person dont stress too much .

And ..

Study hard .

加油 !

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 12.38 am .`+

2009-09-28T00:32:00.002+08:00

say i love, is a pain. say dont love, is a lie. so love or not love? i also dont know.. very confusing and complicating. want to move on also cannot, want to stay at the same old spot also seems wrong.. dont know what to do sial. sianz..

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 12.07 am .`+

2009-09-26T23:55:00.007+08:00

Wasnt feeling well the entire day, kept coughing and sneezing non-stop during work.. Jason was like my nanny, kept passing me tissues and Render kept asking if I need to go see doctor. I insisted not to, cause wait a few more days then is my off day already. Somemore weekend I want to chiong sales together with them, if not later sales not good then the boss blame us again. Render passed Jason money, asked him go buy 2 bottles of Chestnut Ginseng Tea for me and also buy the rest of them drinks.. Though drink alrdy, but still sneezing all the way until even knock off. 1st time feel so sick and uncomfortable from sneezing.. After work, 3 of us went to the hawker centre nearby to eat. Cause I said got one stall selling meatball soup like very nice, so asked if they wanna go eat tgt. Both of them very steady, straightaway agreed. Actually felt like drinking beer, but scared no toilet to run so I dropped the idea. Now slightly feeling better alrdy, hope tmr will fully recover.. Need to chiong sales for weekend. Cannot anyhow spend ler, money drying up liao.

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 12.57 am .`+

2009-09-26T00:31:00.002+08:00

Just came back from work not long. Thought of quitting my job and go study next year.. But one thing that prompt me to stay, is that I have a kind & understanding Manager. I know this job aint taking me very far.. But it's hard to find colleagues who take care and look around for you.

At my workplace, I work with Senior Sales Executive Jason and Retail Manager Render. Jason is the one who always help me "kio sai" in my paperworks after every sales I clinch, and Render is the one who help me settle all misunderstandings. Im really fortunate.. Recently, just discovered that I forgot to collect a $100 for a customer's 1 year upgrade contract. She didnt made me pay, instead she said it's okay and asked me to be careful the next time.. About the money, all of us will work hard and pay together. For this, Im really moved.. She taught me how to do Mio Home, and now Im able to close all by myself. She also helped us to key in our sales incentives online both at workplace and at home till late, which we were supposed to key in our own. Jason said he wanna eat "Bah Gua" then few days later, she went to get 1/2 kg for us. Then as all of us were chatting, I mentioned that I like snow skin mooncakes. Few days later.. She went to Tampines in the morning to buy, missed her train, late for work. In the morning when she came, she passed to me a plastic bag.. In it, was a box of snow skin mooncakes from Bakerinz. Again, all of us eat together. Sometimes she even treat us in eating.. When I think back, she's really a thoughtful Manager.

As for Jason.. Sometimes when Im in really foul mood, I will scream at him. But he will never take it to heart. He's the one I always make fun and teased about.. Making all of us laugh. Though work is boring, but with Jason around for us to "di siao", it's never the same again.. =) Sometimes the things I dont know and I asked him. Can see he also dont know, but he always go one big round and say craps to me instead of getting to the point.. Makes me wanna laugh. But also thanks to him, for teaching me and helping me settle all the paperworks and wrong amendments that I need to do. The both of them also will show concern in my love life.. Always telling me to find someone who can take gd care of me, dont always find those Ah Beng. Haas.. They're really very cute. Really thanks alot to them that Im recovering fast, not letting my imaginations run wild during work when Im upset. Thank you.

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 6.15 pm .`+

2009-09-24T17:36:00.002+08:00

我不想一直把“爱”无价值地挂在嘴边，

这样只会显得做作。

也再也不会强迫你做出决定。。

我什么都可以不要，

只希望能看见你的微笑。

不管再痛，我都可以承受。

只因为是你。

我才明白，
爱一个人不一定要拥有。
只要他开心，
什么都已不重要。。

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 2.47 am .`+

2009-09-19T02:09:00.006+08:00

the day i changed my phone , i cried till my eyes were sore the previous night ..
because we agreed on the same phone ,
because we held the same model ,
because those were memories of us ,
because it means something to me ,
because you matters alot ..
but when you told me ur feelings has faded , what can i do?
hurt . upset . disappointed .
i'd nvr tell you the real reason why i change phone so sudden ..
because i dont want you to know that im weak ,
because i want to be strong and independent in front of you .
because i thought i can forget you better ,
because i dont wish to fall deeper .
but i was wrong ..
cause the memories are stucked in my head , and i cant change away my brain .
behind the brave fronts , who can understand those painful & unbearable feelings i have ?
lonely nights spent alone ,
where are you when i needed you most ?

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 11.39 pm .`+

2009-09-18T23:15:00.003+08:00

everything seems to change .. everyday no mood for work , temper gone from bad to worse . even the slightest thing could irritate me , causing me to lose temper .. hais . im sorry .. really sorry . it's not the right time to be with anyone now .. even that they wanna give me time to forget , wanna wait for me .. i really dont need any of those . those are not the things i want .. this is not the ending i expect . maybe they dont understand . i'd simply lost faith in relationship , in guys . i know some of them treat me really well , but im truly sorry .. i dont wish to deceive myself or anyone of them . im no longer a kid , im sick and tired of flirts or on & off relationships .. i just need time to be alone . to think what i really want in life .. before i get my thinkings right , i will not commit myself .

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 7.15 pm .`+

2009-09-10T18:41:00.003+08:00

If you ask me again, who would I choose to be with. Someone whom I love, or someone who loves me? My answer would still be the same.. I will choose someone I love. Just like how I let go of someone who dotes and loves me alot, for someone I love.. I'd rather be the one to give, than to let those who love me to. I know it's selfish of me, but at least my decision wasnt wrong.. He's getting married soon and Im happy for him.

Ytd Feng happened to ask, so now who I miss? Is it Tiger? No, it's not him. What happened between us was alrdy a history for such a long time.. Matthew is the one I love.

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 1.13 am .`+

2009-09-08T00:20:00.005+08:00

While I can only sit alone and reminisce memories of what's used to be, he may have already drifted to somewhere distant. Some place or with someone whom will make him happy.. Sick of faking smiles pretending Im fine, tired of deceiving the entire world & most of all.. Pathetically to myself. Everywhere I go, memories follow. The more I try to forget, it only makes things worse.. Lied umpteen times, reject and cast away many's invitations.. Sorry, I dont know what had become of me. All I need is just some quiet time to be alone.. I reached back home, finally decided to turn on my PSP and watch those movies that he had previously put for me. But then.. Some files seem to be corrupted, cant even detect the memory card. Makes me upset even though it's just a stupid lame thing..

I miss everything of us. The way he stared at me when we first met, the way he whispered in my ears saying he love me, the way he held my hands so tight as if it was nvr to let go, the way he kissed me on the forehead and hugged me all night till his hands become numb the next morning.. How he will call me up during work and asked if I'd eaten.. The long hours continuously talking on the phone, any topic under the sun.. Always accompany me watch cartoons even though he hates it, brings me along to meet his friends, brings me to eat supper after work, able to find a place for me to sit no matter how crowded the place is, walked a distance just to take a straw for my beer, always reminding me what's good for me and what's the wrong things not to do.. & so much more.. I even miss those quarrelling times we had ...

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

2009-09-05T01:23:00.002+08:00

This little quiz will reveal your attitude towards love.

Dear Ah Bit, below are your love test result:

1. The road represents your attitude towards falling in love. You chose the short road. You fall in love quickly and easily.

2. The number of... red roses represents how much you give in a relationship, while the number of white represents what you expect in return. You give 50% and expect 50% in return.

3. This question represents your attitude towards handling relationship problems. You like to get the person yourself. You are a more direct person and like to work out problems immediately.

4. The placement of the roses determines how much you like seeing your boy/girlfriend. You place the roses on the bed. You like to see him/her a lot.

5. This represents your attitude towards his/her personality. You prefer the person to be asleep, you love the person the way s/he is.

6. The road to home tells how long you stay in love with someone. You chose the longer road. You will tend to stay in love for a long time.

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 11.42 pm .`+

2009-09-04T23:17:00.005+08:00

Despite all the things I'd done, tried to put in efforts, to make him stay, to make him understand how I felt.. He said that our thinkings are worlds apart. Last meal with him, controlling tears from falling.. No, Im not upset. For everything I'd done.. He thinks that Im simply nonsensical. Efforts made. Tears shed. Pain felt. No Im not upset.. I can dont think about money. I can easily find someone out there to pay for my expenses, but I did not. I'd rather be alone. Pay everything myself. From the beginning to the end, I'd nvr liked to rely on anyone. Cause I know if I do, I'd be in deeper loss than simply just out of love. Maybe cause age catches up, that is why I'd understand that one cant force to love.. Even that I really love you, I wont resort to begging you to stay. Your heart is not with me.. And it hurts even more to sink deeper. Although now, it do hurts.. But it's still bearable. Maybe that's what part and parcel of life is.. Im accepting things the way they are now. Eric Bro said, after a while I'd definitely be attached again very soon.. I just laughed together with them. They dont know how persistent I am this time.. So let time proves. I'd rather they think that Im always happy-go-lucky than sulking my problems and crying my heart out like in the past.. I nvr want to bother anyone with my problems. Im old enough alrdy. Im sick and tired of finding love in every guys I met, thinking that they will give me happiness.. Sad to say, I've changed.

Seasons may change, but never my heart.

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 6.20 pm .`+

2009-09-03T17:52:00.007+08:00

那些痛像千万支针往心里扎。

一直扎，不断地扎。。

眼泪，

只不过。。

是一种解脱自己的唯一方式。

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 4.08 pm .`+

2009-08-27T16:00:00.003+08:00

Yesterday woke up at 11.30 am , didnt wanna go work . But cause Render was at training and leaving Jason alone at work , I couldnt leave him to die . So I still cabbed down to work .. was damn shag and tired . Slept at 6 am in the morning .. Reached workplace at 12 plus , when I was supposed to start work at 11 . Jason told me HQ will be giving me a warning letter .. But seriously , I really cant be bothered . Lost interest in everything .. Just wanna do the things I want to , no doubt it's right or wrong .

Jason happened to ask how I and him . I told him last week alrdy no more .. He said no wonder last week I keep cleaning here and there in the shop , abit weird of me . Cause he had never seen me so quiet and moody before .. Haas . Actually I also dont know what Im doing ..

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 2.31 am .`+

2009-08-24T02:27:00.008+08:00

If only letting go is as easy as counting to 3 ..

The mind only remembers what it wants to ,

especially at the memories where everything put a halt to ur life .

Today I saw a magazine that my colleague bought .

The horoscope for Capricorn says ,

there will be a little dispute on weekends with my love one ..

Is just a silly trauma thrown between both of us .

But it's of not much harm ,

so dont have to worry .

Wednesday there'll be friends or family having problems ,

need some solutions and help from me .

They will benefit from my advises ..

When I saw the part saying not much harm caused from the dispute ..

I was laughing to myself .

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 12.26 am .`+

2009-08-22T00:10:00.006+08:00

no longer knows what is right, what is wrong. what is the truth & what are the lies? i dont know what to believe anymore.. so lost and confused by the words people say, yet behave the other way round. i just cant find anything to trust or have faith in.. so immune to the pain that i can barely feel anything now. im not a small kid, i no longer scream and shout or even cry.. i just dont do them anymore. im bottling up every single sorrows deep down, facing everything all by myself.. putting a strong front in front of everyone else.

what is meant to be, will be.. just keep in mind, i have always love you.

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 11.49 pm .`+

2009-08-20T23:40:00.009+08:00

If your heart is so easily shaken / tempted ,

then ur not at all worthy of my love .

If your feelings could simply fade with time ,

then dont waste any more of our time .

If your heart never had room for me ,

then dont make urself too miserable .

Touch your heart & ask urself ..

Where exactly do I really stand in ur heart ?

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 1.06 am .`+

2009-08-20T01:06:00.004+08:00

Just now after bathing , I picked up my hp and saw a missed call from an unknown number which was not in my contact list . So I called back . It was diverted to a voicemail .. So I sent a message asking who he/she was . He replied "Tiger" . So I said "Ohhs .. How are you ?" Then not long , my phone rang .. It shows "Tiger hp" . But I wasnt in the least surprised at all .. Probably cause I already had the feeling that he will contact me when he comes out , it's only a matter of time . Dont know why I will have such instinct .. Maybe is cause during these past 2 years even that we're back to normal friends , either one of us will initiate to contact the other . It had somehow become a habit or so , I guess ? But mostly our conversations are really dumb .. Cause it always start off with a "Where you" , then "Oic" , "Enjoy" , "Take Care" & stuffs like that . Or even , at times we will start being sarcastic against each other for no good reasons .. Anyway , he popped out a stunning question . " You still have feelings for me or not ?" .. I told him that I would want him to be happy more than anything else .

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 1.34 am .`+

2009-08-19T01:32:00.010+08:00

Selwyn - Negative Things

Listen baby I wonder why sometimes we fall apart oh yeah
Together we are so wonderful yeah baby
And every single day i pray, that really things shouldnt never be this way
Im only trynna be a better man

Why then do you see all the negative things, in me?
Cos all i ever do is try to be, all that i can be
Girl you know your hurting me, all the things you say to me
As i lie at night im imagining things, how it used to be, girl you know ur hurting me
What am i to do with a broken heart?

All the time everybody say that you and me are over
But i know we're meant to be together for eternity
Was it untrue what we promised each other?
Baby my heart keeps telling me
That it shouldnt be this way forever
Im only trynna be a better man

“Why then do you see all the negative things, in me?
Cos all i ever do is try to be, all that i can be
~~Girl~~ you know your hurting me, all the things you pray to me
As i lie at night im imagining things, how it used to be, ~~girl~~ you know ur hurting me
What am i to do with a broken heart?

~~Girl~~ remember when, we made our promises?
That we would be together throughout every single thing
Now im only trynna be a better ~~man~~ (girl), but you've never noticed that
~~Girl~~ i truly love, to be around you
And baby i'll give you anything you want me to
Cos i know this might be hard for you,
And i know that we will be..”

Why then do you see all the negative things, in me?
Cos all i ever do is try to be, all that i can be
Girl you know your hurting me, all the things you pray to me
As i lie at night im imagining things, how it used to be, girl you know ur hurting me
What am i to do with a broken heart?

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

2009-08-13T17:45:00.002+08:00

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 12.11 am .`+

2009-08-11T23:53:00.004+08:00

尽管全世界都变，我的心仍然没变。。

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 1.45 am .`+

2009-08-10T01:26:00.003+08:00

i should be enjoying myself , my freedom .. but how come it doesnt seems so ? feels more like a major part of me is missing instead . the boy , who never fails to get me a chair to sit , no matter how crowded and packed the places are .. always comes to mind . the boy who would walk a distance just to take a straw for my beer . maybe thats how i fell in love with him .. maybe that is why i love him .. but i'll never get another chance to tell him . everything just feels so wrong and out of place now .. im just not in the least interested in any guys . even how others tried to sweet talk , saying how he would protect me and all those kinda stuffs .. i really treat it as nothing but utter craps . i just felt so turned off when they tried to talk me in .. the more they say , the more i felt digusted . only feels like punching their face .. sighs . why does everything seems so hard ..

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 12.10 am .`+

2009-08-06T23:54:00.004+08:00

this is the dont know how many days i'd been cooping myself at home after work , ever since the last met up . every night been sleeping at past 4 am , then wake up at 9 am in the morning for work .. everyday feeling very tired during work . thought of sleeping early every night .. but always fail to do so . cause once reach back home , then no mood to sleep .. so just stay online till late . sometimes just stare into the blank doing nothing like a total idiot . everyday only eat less than half a meal .. colleagues always say i very skinny but i dont really care . last night i finally look closely at myself in the mirror , suddenly realised that i'd really slimmed down alot . my waists are so small-sized that im starting to feel awful .. and i could even see the shape of my rib cages surfacing on the skin . machiam can play guitar alrdy .. lols . thin until like no money to eat .. but actually is not much appetite . entire mind just filled with work , work and work .. earn more money and dont think of anything else anymore . but im so tired ..

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 11.44 pm .`+

2009-08-05T23:44:00.008+08:00

today got 1 malay drunkard came into the shop , ask to change housing for his phone E63 . jason attended to him .. i was standing outside serving other customers . then suddenly hear his customer talk more and more loud , like going to quarrel .. so i walked over to see what's happening . the malay uncle keep asking why here cannot change housing for his phone ? what kind of lousy service is this ? jason told him that we do not sell housings over here , have to go back to the service centre . that uncle like cannot listen , then start to talk until very rude and arrogant .. he said he's a policeman and asked jason to respect him , dont force him make jason lose this job .. somemore demanded jason to give him his name and IC number so he will lodge a complaint . jason just stand there let him kpkb .. me also standing beside , but finally bui tahan liao .. so i spoke , "say already here no sell housing right ? what . you police big ar ! come lor .. lets call the police to settle ." that malay uncle keep empathesized that he's a policeman , no need call police to come . even police come , he also know them one .. say what , i no need call . he will help me call .. and he start to action beh deh , raised his hp . then i fuck care him and picked up the phone to dial 999 . i said , "okay lor , since you're police right ? then i call ur friends come down join in ." that stupid dog suddenly chickened out , and say anxiously .. "no need call police already .. i dont want complain anymore . what's the address of the service centre ?" ccb . then i shouted at him , "what ! call the police come la . scared you meh ? i thought you want to make my colleague lose this job .. you just now talk so loud to him for what ?" then he geh siao say , " no lah , where got loud .. asking only mah ." then he asked for the address .. jason wrote to him . and he seh seh walked away .. while walking , still bumped into others in the shop . all the customers in the shop were looking , and mocking at him . after he walked away , jason said .. "wahh , angela . i dont know you so fierce one .." then i replied , " then what ? stand down there let him scold you meh !"

thought everything ok liao . so we continued to do sales .. not long after , that uncle came back again . this time he said he wanna buy a phone .. trade in his phone . then i told him no trading , cause i dont want do his sales . then he asked , like that how ? i ask him sell outside . then ask what phone he want ? got contract or no contract . how much is his budget .. when i asked abt this , he gave me a very frustrated and stucked-up look . machiam im suspecting he has no money to buy like that .. but i am not lor . he say , "why ? i cannot buy phone is it . i want to trade in my phone and buy a new phone ! ask me how much budget for what ?" knn .. he like that say , makes me even angry . "cannot ask you budget how much meh ! i dont know ur budget then how i know what ranges you looking for . you cannot even tell me what functions you want ! so how ? you want got contract or what ?" that uncle then said he want to get with contract one . so i asked him for his IC and checked . jason keep asking me no need waste time on such fraudster .. i tell him , nvm . i will check and snook him . indeed , his IC cannot pass to get new line .. so i told him cannot ! he asked why cannot ? then i said "cause you never pay ur bills lah ! owe singtel money , then now you want to get new line ? waa , you think singtel so kind lor .." make him damn paiseh and walked away . while walking , he still can mummbled to himself saying "i only nvr pay $300+ only .. why like that one .."

after a while , that uncle came back AGAIN . he is really SEH until dunno what only lor .. keep say want trade in and buy contract phone . make me damn fucking angry . somemore still dare to throw his IC and a pass on the table , insisting that he want to open a new line .. but guess what ? his pass showed that he's only a CLEANER ! still claimed that he's a police . kns .. i scolded him , "i thought just now i say already you cannot sign contract ! you cannot hear is it ? you got bills nvr clear still dare come and sign line !" then he hear liao , lan lan siao siao walked away .. knn . im alrdy in rotten mood liao , still come and test my patience .. irritating .

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 1.56 am .`+

2009-08-04T01:01:00.013+08:00

独自一个人在房里大哭一场之后，我终于做出最后的决定。。虽然很抽痛，但我想这是最好的选择。也许对你对我都比较公平。。拖延着大家的时间，只会让彼此更加不愉快。我知道你一直很想说，但始终说不出口。。我这样做，只是想成全你的心愿。我也不希望与一个对我没深厚感情的人在一起。。虽然我真的很爱你，但我总不能委曲求全的盼着你能爱我多一些或对我好一点。曾以为我终于找到了一个能和我共度下半辈子的人。。但我还是太天真了。总是以为也许过了些时间，一切就会有好转。但我错了。。

事实总是难以预料。。对于爱情，我这次真的彻底的失败。无法挽留你的心，我也很遗憾。。不过我不会难过，因为至少我是真的尽了力。虽然我们经常有许多挣执。。但我的心从未动摇过。至少并没有受到任何人的影响。但我想这些再也不重要了。。因为最后，我还是失去了你。虽然我们没缘份在一起，但我还是衷心的祝福你找到真正的幸福。。一个，你爱的人。

我答应自己，再也不会为任何男人掉一滴眼泪。

THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY ♥

__* 12.22 am .`+

2009-07-31T00:06:00.003+08:00

i may not be the one you had loved most in ur life ..
i may not be the one who had shared the most memorable past with you ..
i may not be the most adorable girlfriend you had .
i may not be the kind of obedient and gentle girl u wish you had .
i may not be the one to make you change and love me more than urself .
i may not be the one you had dote and spend the most on .
i may not be the most prettiest and perfect one among them .

but im the one who is loving you with every beat of my heart ..
trying to make changes for you every now and then ,
controlling my temper & attitude as much as possible which i'd nvr done so for anyone .
i love you ;
*since 140409 -

YOU TOOK MY HEART ALONG ♥

__* 11.24 pm .`+

2009-07-26T23:14:00.007+08:00

zhijian will be working at parkway outlet next month .. there will be no one to cheer me up during work , when im down . there will be no one to hear me pour my sorrows to .. hais . nxt month a female in-charge will be working with me . today sales is not so good .. days without sales is unbearable , allows me to have time to let my imaginations run wild . for dont know what reasons , suddenly thought of the last scene when we're hugging downstairs my house .. when i was eating . & tears fell .. stress . running a slight fever now ..

YOU TOOK MY HEART ALONG ♥

__* 11.30 pm .`+

2009-07-23T23:29:00.006+08:00

in this relationship , i'd understand alot of things . things that werent taught in school , or by anyone else .. i realised i'd been very selfish . in the past , nobody ever tell me how he feels .. and now , i truly understand that break is no big deal . but to lose someone you love and not knowing what wrongs u'd done to cause the crack is the most stupid mistake .. day after day , everything accumulates and one day everything burst and u lose it all .. in the past , i'd been only thinking for myself . doing things i like , not thinking how the other party would feel .. today , we met . it was really a surprise .. cause i thought i had alrdy lost it all .. but in the end , i lost everything once more . im sorry .. sorry for not able to keep you by my side . sorry for alrdy lying to you on day one .. i know it's hard to gain back ur trust . but i will work hard .. i will make you believe what i said is true , to let you know that my heart has no room for anyone else but you .

in my life , there is someone whom i'd loved and never once let go even though our chapter alrdy ended 2 years ago . but after meeting you again after all these years .. you were the 1st one to truly capture my heart . to make me wanna make you happy .. when we were together , nobody else comes to mind anymore . and it's weird how i would miss you and wonder what ur doing when u were not beside me .. how i will think about the things you dislike , and avoid doing them . i thought after that someone left me 2 yrs ago , i would nvr find any other who could make my heart race .. but then i found you . everytime we quarrelled , nvr fails to bring tears and pain .. we nvr seems to compromise and get down into an agreement , cause im not those who will listen . im always so stubborn to wanna say what i want and not hearing you out .. but i'd been reminding myself every now and then , trying to make a change . after today's incident , made me realised i'd learnt alot from you .. really , thanks . even that i'd lost you again , but still i will always love you .. and no one will replace you . wait for you -

YOU TOOK MY HEART ALONG ♥

__* 3.03 am .`+

2009-07-23T03:02:00.006+08:00

yesterday reached home at 3 plus . wanted to sleep , but couldnt sleep at all .. was lying on the bed just closing my eyes . tossing and turning in bed .. opened my eyes 3 times . the last time i opened my eyes , it's alrdy time to wake up for work .. it was raining in the morning , so is my heart . actually wanted to call zhi jian tell him that i wont be attending work .. but then , i think again . and tell myself not to let personal affairs get into work .. so with a pair of puffy eyes , i went to work . zhi jian asked me how come today like so listless and no strength to work ? what happened to my eyes .. is it ytd night drink too much water before going to sleep ? i told him no , my bf and i no more alrdy .. he asked why . i just said quarrelled , and he asked if im okay .

at workplace , the aircon suddenly keeps dripping water . and i told him the air con drip water .. he looked at me and asked , is the air con or are my eyes dripping water ? i said no lah siao .. but my nose turned sour . and i finally couldnt hold back the tears anymore .. i turned around , and tears started to roll down profusely . i walked straight to the toilet at the back .. tried my best to cool down , and wash my face . after coming out , we talked and slack as usual .. i was standing in front of him . he looked at me and said .. "there are 2 sides of you . 1 is the one i see everyday , always so crazy and laughing non-stop . the other is the 1 i see now , heartbroken and crying so hard .." i told him i suddenly feel very lost . really dont know what to do .. every off days also spent with him . but tomorrow .. i dont know . im alone .. and will be alone in future too . he kept consoling me asking me to cheer up .. making me smile , talking to me . for that , im really grateful .. he purposely blast a sad song for me to hear , tittled "数到三，一起放手" .. and he walked off and headed to the toilet . when he came back , he asked if just now got hear the song he played .. ya la , the song play so loud . deaf also can hear ..

anyway , after work didnt wanna go back home .. went to cine with my colleague to eat and watch movie . afterwhich then go home .. going sleep soon . damn tired and shag .. wish everything was a dream , but it isnt . but im still contented .. at least , we were able to last for 3 months plus . though we didnt make it through .. at least i'd once had him , and it's already enough . since im unable to give you happiness , let others do it then .. as long as ur happy , i too will be . 140409 - 210709

YOU TOOK MY HEART ALONG ♥

__* 2.06 am .`+

2009-07-22T02:03:00.002+08:00

you were supposed to be my last chapter ..

after every efforts i'd tried to make things happen .

i thought fate brought us together ..

or maybe destiny had us fooled .

YOU TOOK MY HEART ALONG ♥

__* 12.02 am .`+

2009-07-22T00:01:00.003+08:00

right now, im at the lowest peak of my life. nobody understands.. nobody ever knows. but it's okay, cause after a big cry, everything will be back to square one.. i had take it before, and i can take it again. i believe tmr will be a better day..

YOU TOOK MY HEART ALONG ♥

2009-07-19T23:41:00.003+08:00

言承旭 - 在KTV说爱你

朋友似乎有意不提起原来你在这里

我的微笑太沉迷怜惜也许你已忘记

微亮灯光下的你还是一样美丽

有没有一首K歌可以给我勇气

说句对不起

麦克风在其他人手里遥控器传给你

我点的歌慢慢往上移越靠近越犹豫

不是唱到一半的我假装忘旋律

只是写词人太细腻描述我和你

过去揪着我的心

我的爱回不去我只能在KTV说爱你

散场之后抱着影子哭泣

我的爱播不停整一首歌还在当年

爱情只是现在你的眼睛最远的距离

麦克风在其他人手里遥控器传给你

我点的歌慢慢往上移越靠近越犹豫

不是唱到一半的我假装忘旋律

只是写词人太细腻描述我和你

过去揪着我的心

我的爱回不去我只能在KTV说爱你

散场之后抱着影子哭泣

我的爱播不停整一首歌还在当年

爱情只是现在我的关系最远的距离

我的爱谁在意我只能在KTV说爱你

却听见自己颤抖的声音

我的爱没有你这房间容不下我的伤心

因为你切歌的坚定停止我呼吸

YOU TOOK MY HEART ALONG ♥

__* 12.50 am .`+

2009-07-19T00:30:00.007+08:00

next month is Eric's wedding , which falls on a Saturday . will find means and ways to get a OFF that day no matter what .. first time got surrounding friend got married . will definitely attend cause he's my very good friend whom i treat as brother . hmm , pocket sure gonna have 1 big hole again ..

yesterday was late for work as usual . but i really got wake up early .. but the bus seems to take forever to arrive . then by the time i reach , it's alrdy 11 o'clock .. was supposed to reach at 10.30 to change pricings . then Zhi Jian was damn frustrated .. nagged at me again . but i got say back .. in the end , both of our faces got black like charcoal and didnt talk for quite some while . but after that , okay alrdy then he tell me dont always be late arbo later they dont want confirm me then very jialat liao .. haiis , sianz . anyway , this is the 4th month in this job . learned quite alot of stuffs alrdy .. just that still not very sure of the application for MioHome , cause my working place dont always got people wanna bundle up their plans into MioHome so it's quite hard to practise doing the spear . but i will fasten my pace and learn everything asap .. for the sake of pampering myself . now then i start to realise money is easy to spend but hard to earn .. sigh . =.=" i miss Matthew ..

YOU TOOK MY HEART ALONG ♥

__* 12.10 am .`+

2009-07-16T23:59:00.003+08:00

yesterday stayed at dar's place . afternoon quarrelled . cried . he then gave me a nickname called "Hu Hu" .. stupid . he sent me go report then go serangoon eat sushi tei .. he said , too bad today's not the exact date that we're celebrating our 3rd mth . ya , but nevermind .. at least we got eat something good . go back his place slack in the evening .. quarrelled again , but luckily made up as usual . sometimes minor things also will startled the flame .. but if 1 day nvr quarrel , will seems weird to me . maybe alrdy become a habit liao .. haas . at night go down his workplace , he went to help out . then we have our dinner tgt with eric .

tmr need to wake up early , go office there have nokia product training . after that still need go back work .. lame lor . tmr die die cannot late , cause all the managers got attend . sianz ..

YOU TOOK MY HEART ALONG ♥

__* 11.21 pm .`+

2009-07-10T22:54:00.009+08:00

the past 2 days been staying at bf's place . actually last night wanted to go back home , but dar suddenly said "if only you can stay at my place tonight hor .." then he go tell his mummy that i'll be staying over again . haas , he's always so cute . when quarrel , then he will say later i go to work or report myself .. but in the end , he also got fetch me go . sometimes we will tend to quarrel over minor stuffs , cause our characters are very similar .. the food we like are almost the same too . both of us likes to eat cheese , prawns , chicken thigh , hot dog etc . so it's quite easy to choose what to eat when we go out together .. what's even coincident is sometimes as i was half way typing sms to him , i would receive his call or sms . then i told him , we're both thinking of each other at the same time .. hees . x=

at first when he often scolds me for overspending , for not thinking ahead , for wasting money on stupid things .. i really hate his naggings . but there's one day , he said this to me .. "if i dont care , i wouldnt have bother so much and waste my breath nag and nag at you ." then suddenly , i realised that i'd been taking this for granted . also , mistaken him .. i'd always thought whatever i do , will only make him angry or upset him . but im wrong .. he really cares . im sorry , and thanks alot . i guess he's the first guy who ever bother to scold me .. the rest , only kept quiet cause they pampered me too much . now i know how to manage my finance better , with him around .. =)

other couple's honeymoon period is at the beginning of their relationship . but ours , is vice versa . we quarrelled alot when we first became together .. almost everyday and each time we meet up , even never meet also can quarrel . but surprisingly , 4 more days will be our coming 3rd month anniversary .. seems like time flies by fast ; just a wink of the eye . i'll definitely be cherishing & loving him more each day .. may our bond never diminish , but grows stronger .

YOU TOOK MY HEART ALONG ♥

__* 3.11 am .`+

2009-07-07T03:08:00.004+08:00

just finish playing Dragonica with dardar , he help me do quest . haas .. so sleepy and sick , entire day sneezing like free only . tmr still got singtel training at 9 am , need to crawl up early . dont know can wake up or not .. time to sleep liao , if not sure panda again .. good night . =]

YOU TOOK MY HEART ALONG ♥

__* 11.29 pm .`+

2009-07-05T23:16:00.004+08:00

yesterday was saturday . crowd came in late , and ended up knocking off at 11 pm .. made dar wait for me at bedok . he fetch me go meet his brothers they all , cause one of their birthday . went to serangoon eat ice cream .. lols . then go ktv pub drink and sing . didnt really feel bored cause dar didnt neglect me .. whenever he go , he also got inform me or ask me tag along . haas , im so attached to him . anyway , reach back his place at 3 plus .. slept at 4 am . this morning crawl up tgt at 10 plus , dar send me go work before he went to work .

YOU TOOK MY HEART ALONG ♥

__* 11.46 pm .`+

2009-07-03T23:21:00.009+08:00

just reached home not long ago from work . yesterday was my off day and was spent together with dar .. went over to stay at his place after work . we quarrelled the next day .. but was alright in the end . he sent me go back home to change for reporting .. suddenly rain very heavy , so we stayed awhile at my place . after reporting , went back his place to slack . then went down raffles to meet his mummy together go enquire about his schooling stuffs .. afterwhich , went to eat nearby . first time see his mummy , abit uptight .. then when nervous keep laughing . so funny , haas . =x finish eating , then go walked around .. awhile later his mum left . and the 2 of us went to penisular plaza then to bugis walk walk . after that he bring me go chill out at a restaurant at hougang .. at first i thought he wanted to bring me go kopitiam instead , cause beside is kopitiam . lols .. dar fetch me back sengkang , then we slacked downstairs my place chatting for abt an hour .. before going home .

tmr working again .. so tired . sick of being late , being nagged . but sometimes really very lazy to wake up in the morning .. always rolled on the bed till i happy liao then crawl out of my cosy bed . next week got training again ! got pros & cons . good thing is can go out after training , bad thing is .. got 1 half day training , after training still need go back work . arghs .. stupid ! anyway , tmr after work meeting dar .. heex . miss him truck loads . nvr thought i would be able to find someone whom can shaken my heart again .. dont know what i'm gonna do if he's missing from my life someday ; hope that day will never come .

YOU TOOK MY HEART ALONG ♥

__* 12.07 am .`+

2009-07-01T00:06:00.004+08:00

yesterday after work , went to stay over at dar's place for the 1st time with his mum's approval . at night slacked with him and his friends downstairs his place .. morning accompany him to work then i went to polyclinic take mc .. afterwhich went back to his working place to stay awhile . went back home to change , wanted to meet bestie but in the end went out with my mum instead .. cause mummy didnt work today , somemore long time nvr go out walk walk with her . so mum and i went out in the evening to compass point walk walk .. i wanted to buy gold anklet . she wanted to buy earrings .. went to poh heng , but the place was crowded . so we went down to hougang instead . but before that , bought food for dar before we left .. also , introduce my bf to mummy . =]

i bought a gold anklet for $300 . mummy bought me a necklace plus an abacus pendant which cost her $350+ .. actually was around $800 , but cause i trade in my old gold necklace back to them which deduct $458 . hees .. loves mummy ! she really dotes me alot luhs . is she intiated to buy it for me , cause my old necklace's hook is spoilt .. then the poh heng no longer change hook for necklaces liao . so she said change everything at one shot then next time no need change again ler .. she didnt buy any earrings . all is buy for me .. afterwhich we went down to boon keng eat boon tong kee chicken rice . haas , this time i treated her .. also ordered beer to drink tgt . eat finish alrdy , took train back to seng kang .. then mummy go find aunty , and i went to find darling . slack awhile with dar , then he fetch me go home .

boy , my love for you is growing stronger everyday .
thanks for making efforts .. i can feel it .

YOU TOOK MY HEART ALONG ♥

__* 12.05 am .`+

2009-06-27T00:00:00.003+08:00

my house is so short of towels .

ytd wanna go bathe then realised my towel suddenly missing ..

then i saw the towel hanging on the window grill .

just now asked my Mum why she took my used towel ,

she said cause dont have towel .

then i say her dirty ,

used people's towel to bathe .

LOLS !

anyway ,

another funny thing ..

my friend just asked if im okay or not ,

he heard from others say got people come find me trouble .

SO LAME ..

makes my toes laugh only .

YOU TOOK MY HEART ALONG ♥

__* 11.34 pm .`+

2009-06-25T23:14:00.010+08:00

yesterday night met Bestie after my training .. we went shopping at Bugis , took neo-prints , prayed at temple , drank at BUO , ton night at Katong play Left 4 Dead till morning . for once .. i didnt pray about anyone else . i prayed for this current relationship .. the Lot is a good one . it says that i need to be honest and sincere in order for things to work out .. what i need to do most impt now , is to control my temper . sick and tired of changing boyfriend like nobody's business .. guess it's somehow time for me to settle down for good . hope it'll be possible ..

today is my off day .. woke up late to meet Bf . he was angry , cause i failed to keep my promise .. quarrelled again , but managed to be okay later on . met him at Serangoon , slacked at his place till evening .. then go nearby pasar malam walk walk , cause we wanted to buy our Omnia phone plastic casings . went down to Hougang .. eat & walk around . 1st time we went out together walk here and there .. previously we wanted to go out on our off day , but in the end quarrelled and both went back home separately . though is just a simple day , but i really enjoyed myself with him by my side ..

dar , i love you .

YOU TOOK MY HEART ALONG ♥

__* 11.12 pm .`+

2009-06-22T23:11:00.004+08:00

nothing special as usual ..

today workplace outside was all sealed doing some construction stuffs ,

and customers aint that many .

but still managed to hit over 10 sets ..

start to learn how to do broadband applications by myself alr .

just now serve 1 aunty & uncle couple .

the on top air-con keep dripping water ..

then the aunty ask why drip water ,

i said cause the air-con just now drink too much alrdy .

like that only then the aunty say i very cute ..

talk until very humorous .

then zhi jian looked at me and all of us laughed .

so funny .

throughout the entire afternoon ,

both of us do nothing .

so boring ..

he surf net and i play with my phone .

tmr is my training for miohome & miotv .

must wake up early ..

but good thing is can go home after that .

havent decide whr to go yet .

YOU TOOK MY HEART ALONG ♥

__* 12.16 am .`+

2009-06-21T00:10:00.005+08:00

wish to go out too ,

but im tired ..

from work i suppose .

or maybe with life ..

today late for work as usual .

somemore late on a Sat when need to change pricings !

Manager told me i'd be given a warning letter soon from HQ ..

she ask me to stop being late .

haiis ..

nowadays quite moody and upset .

might be losing someone impt soon ..

feel so helpless .

if only happiness is here to stay ..

YOU TOOK MY HEART ALONG ♥